Life, Musings, Misadventures, Epiphanies by Arun Raj

While wondering about the relationship of time to life and the consequences of the variants of the existential dilemma we all go through in life, I could not help but conclude this. Life is a consequence of time and time a consequence of an existential doubt. I saw the existential doubt as an apt metaphor for the daily doubts and conflicts we keep having, which is summed up pretty simply by Shakespeare as ‘To be or not to be’. Most of our doubts, daemons and conflicts can be categorized as 'Should I be myself or conform by expectations form me?' or 'What if I do this and what if I don't?'. And in the process of this of conflict spend a great amount of quality time. TIME then becomes the consequence of the EXISTENTIAL DOUBT. On Existential doubt, one of the founders of this philosophy comments: What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know, except in so far as a certain knowledge must precede every action. The thing is to under...

We at Prayas to date have successfully admitted and processed more than 35 children to a better state of academic schooling than what they had previously. Recently, during one of those admitting sessions, we had compulsorily asked the parents to join their children to the school for the process. Five children along with their mother and father came along even though it was already time for the parents to go off to work. The admission process began with a few questions about their family and other details. One excited child stood there, as she was asked questions by the principal, clutching onto and playing with her skirt. She stood there part smiling and part confused while she abruptly glanced at him. Then, I noticed him! There stood a father, next to his child. From his expressions I noticed that he could have been deeply contemplating and calculating the outflow of his monthly wages towards his child's education, the bills, the food, etc. In the moment that froze in front...

As I was pulled towards the ground, a strong and unfamiliar type of fear had taken me over. The support under my feet had just vanished for a few seconds and it felt like that moment in itself was a teacher of Buddha proportions. I had jumped off with the expectation of a different consequential fear that the height had spurred in me as I had a fear of heights, but now I felt another fear. The fear as I felt now was more akin to a state of insecurity and then of being connected to a force beyond my mortal control. The cliff though was only 20 feet high still gave a good 3 seconds of free fall before you landed. As the rafting experience and its multiple rushes, gushes & twirls had not enthused me, I was growing disappointed as it was almost the end of the 12 mile stretch. While I was not in a mood to try this part of the experience (Cliff jumping), that I had paid for, a voice inside me roared onto me and drove me to give it a try. I climbed the cliff which was now crowded by a bun...

In a waiting stance, he waits and waits – For her and her’s only love struck stare. To be he wishes, but wishes deny, In her arms to lay and sleep - in peace! To be he wishes, but a forlorn strait Stands between them; reluctant it blows! “Oh! Let me flow through thy trying flows, To reach ashore, where my love awaits!” To the Strait he prays louder and louder, In her arms to lay and sleep - in peace! Her eyes strain beyond the forlorn strait, In failing Hope, but she would wait. A distant beacon dims and shines As her heart wails and wails. A storm broke, a year from now; Across the forlorn strait it spread. “Take Me around this storm, for I can no longer take This unending wait, oh forlorn Strait!” To the strait she hollers, louder and louder, As her heart, wails and wails. The strait spoke, with lightning strikes fray, “My passing by has caused your heart pain; My frivolous waves have crushed your boats; ...

Each time I attend a marriage ceremony an hear the vows of commitment, surrender and eternal love, I am only confused further. I cannot help but laugh at my own naivety, at a point in my life, a while back where I thought I was ready for marriage :P I then look at the faces of the bride and groom and I wish to get into that sacred knot myself. But the fear of giving myself completely unto someone then strikes me inadvertently as a sense of losing myself. They say that guys generally tend to have this sense of relinquishing control before marriage and there are a good number of movies too that present this state of mind of men like 'Pyaar Ke Side Effects' for example :) I can then only honestly, go hats off to these people who commit for a lifetime and wish them happiness throughout their married lives and wish that I too get somebody I could relinquish control to - unreasoned. Love, Marriage & Happiness :) Wow ! Wishing a happy married life to a dear friends - Kannan &...

Why did I feel that? I have always felt that people are inherently good. I truly and deeply believe, there is somewhere deep inside them a lost innocence and beauty, as if a new born baby - peaceful, naive and calm. A state where doubts, fears, worries & discontent dissolves into inexistence. Actions here are not influenced or intimidated into being, they are but following a natural course of life's happenings. Abstract and confusing is it? Yes, because you may feel you have not felt this exact state or will never be able to feel it. But you may not be correct in presuming that fact. Notice and observe the precise moments before you drift into deep sleep after a day of hard work. When all sounds around you, however disturbing they may be, would not be able to upset your tired drowsy eyes shutting down. Notice that peaceful moment when you wake up early in the morning as the sun rises and a gleaming ray breaks through and pierces your eyelids as if a blessing in disguise. You fe...

I wish for you today - The sun shines  Brighter for you, unlike any other day - before today.  With harps of hope strumming to odes  Of certain times of love & happiness ahead. I wish for you today - A friend long lost, Shall come back; to your surprise and heartfelt elation.  And bring back those memories of summer days, When you shared a cool lemonade or two. I wish for you today - Strangers that smile Unreasoned & unfettered. Let the birds & passer-by's  Sing for you unbound; expressing their joyful excitement  With placid thoughts in faith of our silent lord - almighty. I wish for you today - A cup of tea; You could sip by a placid street; that flatters your senses To an instant churn of dancing temptations.  I wish you a sip –a stolen moment, with you and yourself. I wish for you today – A satisfying day; as it ends Full of wishes fulfilled. A day as it ends in the light  Of a starlit sky Where dreams are only reality doused  In vivid colors, onto the canvas of lif...